Am I alone?

I found myself wrestling the idea in my mind whether or not to create some sort of blog to explain my story, I struggled with the idea that I would probably be criticized in doing so. In the end, I chose to face that fear in hopes that in doing so it will let other women know that they aren’t alone in their daily battle with these so called ‘Muslim” men. My story begins 6 years ago while I was working for a local cell phone store. While there, I happened to meet a group of collage students from Saudi Arabia, we immediately became friends and, I immersed my self in their culture and even converting to Islam. My family was concerned with this but, I assured them I knew what I was doing. During this time I met a man named Sultan and he and I became almost inseparable. I found I had so much in common with this beautiful man from the other side of the world. We would spend hours talking about our lives and the possibility of our lives together in the future. His family knew of me, and his intention to marry me or so I thought. Three years into our relationship I get pregnant, and from that moment on our lives would never be the same. When I told the father about the pregnancy he changed so much saying that I became pregnant on purpose and that I have to have an abortion if I wanted to keep him. I refused to have an abortion during any circumstance and even the thought of killing my child to keep a man that had completely just done a Jekyll and Hyde routine on me was absurd to say the least. During my pregnancy, we would speak often where I tried to get him interested in the baby, having him throw it back in my face saying he never wanted “it”. Threatening that he has family that if they knew would come here to America and kill me and the baby if I ever told anyone. This is the same man that only mounts ago was telling me how much he loved me and showered me with gifts that I didn’t even know I wanted. This poor Saudi man now no longer has a single penny to give to his child, strange right? In my own personal life my biological father abandoned my mother and I, and to this day I carry that pain around like an anvil on my chest, so I am somewhat bias to the situation and I didn’t want my son to carry that same pain about his real father. However I know now that my son will not have to carry such a heavy weight for he has been blessed with a wonderful Step Father, who loves him as his own flesh and blood. How great is that!! My husband now faces the problem with me do we ever tell him about his real father or don’t we? These are the same questions that any woman with children who happen to have a deadbeat dad ask, the difference lies with the Saudi Students and what they can do to us women if they so chose to. These Students sign a contract when they leave there kingdom to study abroad that states several crazy rules they must abide by. Men impregnating a woman they aren’t married to is a large violation and they not only can but will lose their scholarship and be deported if the information gets back to the embassy in Riyadh . That is the first hurdle us women face, your pregnant you can tell no one or there will be repercussions. An example of this is after I had my child the fathers best friend’s girlfriend got pregnant too, I happen to be in the room when they discussed getting a root from Saudi that would make the girl in question abort her babies at 4 months along. Luckily I was there and I told them that if anything happened at all to this woman I would go to the police. The woman mentioned was never physically harmed although physiologically she is going through the same torture as many of us. Now that the pregnancy hurdle has been passed and you have this wonderful child …now what? Well if the father’s name is on the birth certificate you must be aware that if you travel with your child to Saudi Arabia you might not ever get your child back. Men have say there not like here. Remember it is a completely different culture that most western women scratch their heads at. My intention is not to daddy bash although my anger and pain is completely warranted. I have recently started an organization called Saudi Children Left Behind (SCLB) where I hope to lend support and eventually some financial support to those women in similar situations. In doing this I also hope to unite as many women as possible. I will make my son proud in knowing that his Mother never gave up the fight for his right to have a voice to his biological father. As it stands when these guys go home they are gone to us and our children forever, who keeps tabs on these men? The answer Ladies and gentleman is not a single person. The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia punishes these guys for the act of sex and then these men turn around and hurt us leaving us holing a baby and our hearts wondering what happened. Then I have found when you speak out to the injustice you are criticized and ridiculed, called names like whore. First off Arab men get this through your heads we aren’t whores!!! Guess what buddy your in my country where women are allowed to have sex without being stoned to death. Secondly if you tell a woman you love her and want to marry her the strangest thing happens ….she believes you. Third and this might come as a shock I know but it takes two to get pregnant and no we didn’t get pregnant on purpose just so we could keep your cousin marring butt!!!! If your going to study here guy learn the culture!!!!! That being said ladies you must protect yourself too. I know like me you are angry and frustrated and probably confused and no one is offering support. Well ladies this is the best country in the world(in my opinion) and there is nothing that can stop us here. That being said I do need your help!!!! I need to gather as much support as possible so KSA will take notice and work towards a solution. I understand any fears you might have in coming forward, when I created the SCLB Group the father of my child broke into my house hacked my computer and to this day get daily prank calls from him and his friends, childish huh!! We must be tenacious in our dealings with these men. Our children deserve not to be forgotten, and abandoned like they were just there wild fling in America. We must fight to hold these men accountable for their actions and show our children that we will never let them down. Will anyone stand with me?

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64 thoughts on “Am I alone?

  1. sorry to hear whats happening to u honestly … i kinda have the same story i was seeing this guy for like a year we lived together and everything and he spoiled me sooo much well as soon as i got pregnant he tried to get me to have an abortion and i said no so he said that was fine that he wasnt gonna make me do something i didnt wanna do … he would always tell me that his family was gonna kill him which was a “total lie ” cause i found out the truth ….. but he left to saudi and we hardly have any communication are son is gonna be born in 2 months and it makes me mad that these saudis just come and use american women and go back to there country and do whatever they want we should honestly put a stop to this seriously ….

  2. this is soooo sad can i ask how much information have you got about this subject i myself am now currently married to a saudi and before this was in your situation me and my ex had a child and he fled the country when i was just 4 months pregnant. my husband and i have tried to find what info we could about this situation to track down my daughters father. with no luck other than an article about a man searching for the roots of saudi students all over the world.

  3. some saudi men are just heartless seriously … not all but some ….

  4. Unfortunately this is a rapidly growing problem especially here in America, and with more and more Saudi men come over seas to study completely uneducated in the ways of women, the problem will just continue to grow and grow. The first problem lies in Saudi Arabia where when they send these young men abroad to study they are not told a thing about how the rest of the world works. These men have lived with there families there whole lives most never had to work a day ever, They get there false ideology of american women through pornographic films and they assume women are just whores. These men are given a generous monthly salary from there govt and told if you drink alcohol, have sex, get married to a western woman or father any children there scholarship will be revoked and they will be sent home in shame. There own govt punishes them for being human, how do you think we are perceived as western women……? Giving birth to my children has been easier than getting help from the embassy on tracking these men. They are always full of promises to help and we are all still waiting. If I want help I give them the name of my child's father and the help I will get from them is the baby's father gets deported, and POOF he is gone. That's there help? I don't think there scholarship should be taken away but I do believe that these men should not be aloud to just walk away clean and then have the AUDACITY to demand a virgin wife? Are you out of your mind?????? It is an ongoing battle with KSA, but if enough women come together they cant ignore us!!!!!

  5. i totally agree with u … these men dont get any kind of punishment for leaving us with a child instead they get to go live there lives fine and dandy in saudi arabia ….i am sooo with u !!!!! and yes i do think there scholorships should get taken away its not fair at all for them just to come and use us and leave ….. saudi men are compulsive liars * some of them * if i wanted to be a very mean cold heartless person i would have already called the religious police from over there and told them what is going on which leads to him being put in jail and getting whipped…. i cannot do that cause i feel maybe he will change when our son is born but i highly doubt that ….. may i ask how many other women are with this… and how are we gonna get the gov to listen to american women when in reality in there country they belittle women

  6. Strange thing is, the fact that they do rule there women with an iron fist works to our advantage. You ever put a Saudi man in his place? Let me tell you they have no idea what the hell to do? Remember they have the us seriously confused with dumb porn stars, so when we show them how smart we are and have no problem taking a stand for ourselves the idea is alien to them. Its funny that they think just because they say something that makes it the truth no matter how many times you prove them wrong its “NO NO I am Man so I am right. Its like having an argument with a 4 year old who has chocolate cake on her face, and she is screaming I didn't eat the cake I swear to God I didn't eat the cake…..It was the dog. Then when you remind the child that we don't own a dog, she screams I didn't say dog I said fish………exc. I do agree with you that these man are compulsive liars. They could honestly care less about the lives they have destroyed. There biggest fear is being found out!!! These men need to be called out for things they have done, and luckily we live in America where we are allowed to speak our minds loudly!!!!!

  7. ha soooo true i would fight with my babys dad and he would deny it and i was like omg i have proof wtf !!!! uhhhh i just wanna see him and slap him cause i was there for him through thick and thin uhhhhhh how could i be soooo stupid !!! but anyways speak are minds loudly to whom and do u think the laws would ever change because of this …..

  8. Dear cnz77, I don't think KSA would change the law because they have been dealing with this problems very often. For example in Egypt and other country (i don't remember which one) the KSA government has an special office for the Children abandoned by Saudis to provide financial support because they do believe all children has the right to be treated equal, whether or not they are “legal.” However, in U.S. there is not such help, even if you call 10000000 times or e-mail them they just don't care.

    Unfourtunely this is not just a problem for American women, this issue is all over the world. I'm from Latin America and I was left pregnant by a Saudi after a very long and “serious” relationship. My baby is going to born in few weeks.

    I guess what we need to do is prove the Saudi embassy that we are together and willing to do whatever we need to do for the rights of our kids. I suggest you this post there are some advices that might help us with our cause.

  9. i am sorry to hear that ANDREA i am going through the same issue and in only 2 months my son will be born not knowing who his father is =( very sad and it kills me inside to know that hes in saudi probably with another girl …. and i had no idea about KSA having a special office … ive been wanting to go to saudi embassy but i doubt they will do anything but take away his scholorship which he probably wont care … if u dont mind me asking what part of saudi arabia is he from …. ??? it is not right that saudi students get to come and study in AMERICA or where ever they like and get Us PG … inshallah one day something will happen …

  10. ANDREA sorry i spelled ur name wrong !!!

  11. I don't believe KSA will ever change there laws because of what there boys are doing overseas but I do believe that there is enough women standing together they will have to make some changes beginning with an actual education program where they are allowed to learn out culture before just being thrown into it unsupervised. It is so frustrating to have KSA ignore the problems that there citizens have caused and still continue to cause. Seriously is it my Governments sole responsibility to care for these children? Is it fair that most of these women have to be on medicaid and food stamps while these spoiled men drive around there country in 100,000 dollar cars? KSA may be behind on the times, but luckily USA isn't, and it wont take long for the US to implement our own laws on these “visiting” students.

  12. exactly …. they are so religious and pray 5 times a day but yet when they get a girl pregnant they run scared and dont stand by us women … it is very frustrating and i cannot stress about it anymore =( … what am i suppost to tell my son when he is born … and now it is hard to trust other men because im scared hes gonna do the same thing this saudi **boy** did … are voice really needs to be heard and not ignored they asses think they can get away with stuff uhhhh no !!!!!

  13. I struggle with what to tell my son also. How do you ever tell them the truth about the kind of man there father turned out to be. How do we face humiliation every day feeling like we were used for sex? The father of my son tells people that I was a one night stand. This crazy one night stand lasted 5 years and during that time he lived in my house for free. The thing that might make me the most angry is they spread there lies and spill there seed tn the towns we have to live in after they go back home looking like great men. Its a total sham that has to stop!!!!

  14. how sad seriously …. my babys dad cheated on me and caught herpes and he got real sick from down there and we had to take him to the dr .. i didnt know i was pregnant at that time but when i found out i was they checked me for everything and the DR said thank god he didnt pass them to u and your son …. i was really devastaded because when the dr told him what herpes was , i already knew was it was because in high school a long time ago well health class duh but i stood by his side and told him i didnt love him any less but deep down i was screaming and crying inside =( im sooo stupid but thank god he was looking out for me and im okay ….. but =( knowing that i have to look at my son after he is born everyday and trying to think what to tell him so by the time hes older and asks i will have a answer for him kills me deeply … we should do something

  15. First off you are not stupid 🙂 You just fell for the Savage Saudi man… did a bunch of us. I cant say that the anger you feel will ever go away, I still deal with it daily. Its difficult to feel safe around men after you have been with a Saudi man, there lies are so darn believable until the truth smacks you in the face and you see these men for what they are. Its awful that he gave you herpes just awful and now he will go spread it at home too. Its like the Wizard of Oz after the curtain has been dropped and you see the all powerful wizard for the frail old man he is, you never see him the same again!!!Keep your chin up 🙂

  16. Anonymous

    what i actually think is that american females should be well educated on these men and really steer well clear.most of them live for the moment and they dont want anyone to spoil that..they arrive in the west to get educated in so many ways and part of the curriculum is discovering girls like a mock runup to their real marriage back home.most familiies and the culture find marriages from outside their families ie cousin as unacceptable so how about a westerner.a few cases are genuine but the social pressure here for a foreign wife is enormous so it would probably breakdown anyway in the end…so much to say but the best advice is to keep away..with regards to those who have kids dont be surprised if you dont hear from them again because of the pressures from their relatives..i am not saying they are all like that but the odds are..1/1000000 !

  17. Anonymous

    sorry to have been so upfront but those are the to continue this discussion in more detail

  18. saudi_children_left_behind: no he didnt give me herpes lol the dr said i was lucky he didnt give it to me because it wouldve gone to our son …. trust me i wouldve gone to saudi arabia and kicked his ass if he did trust me … but now i guess its good that god was watching me and protected me from what he had cause now i can move on with no worries but our son we have together

  19. Anonymous : i think we know that u dont have to tell us lol we know more than those stupid pathetic men think we know … thats why they get scared and run and on the other hand the saudi women are stupid and pathetic because cmon men can have over 4 wives and they act stupid about it … its pathetic … thanks for the advice but tell us something we dont know … sorry its the truth

  20. saudi_children_left_behind: my uncles are very very powerful iranian men and like my uncle said god was watching out for him and me cause if he did give me herpes * which thank god he didnt* my uncles wouldve gone and killed him …. very scary but true i feel bad for him anyways hes pathetic and probably can never get married because he decided to cheat on me with some nasty whore and catch his little disease …

  21. I apologize for my misunderstanding cn277. Thank goodness he didn't give it to you!!!! I found out after the father of my son and I quit talking that he had cheated on me multiple times during our relationship. I was completely devastated to find that out, part of me always felt that I was special to him I mean I had his son, I felt like I got hit by a truck when the realization of after 5 years I was a joke to him. To this day he continues to “do his thing”. The poor young woman he is with now has no idea the monster she shares a bed with. I truly hope she never has to find out his true face the way I did.
    @Anonymous Women do need to be educated about these men, but if you aren't careful education can become racism. I know not all Arab men are evil spawn of satin, just the hypocritical bigots who get women pregnant and bail using there religion and family as there reasoning. Quite honestly I could give a crap about how these mens family's proceve them that is there chain to carry, mine is to be the best mother I can and not let these men continue to walk all over us. Its time to put on our big girl pants ladies and show these chauvinistic pigs we mean business!!!!!

  22. saudi_children_left_behind: yup there pigs … and religion isnt an excuse to bail cause im muslim aswell but honestly god and karma will bite them in the ass one day and they will regret ever doing this to us …. to be honest u give me sooo much motivation and i know there are probably much more women out there who are going through this and they need to know there not alone …. something like this can air on dr phil or something really i can already picture it …. things need to change and they will cause us american girls are not stupid much less brainless!! ❤

  23. cnz77, I know how you might feel in this moment because i went through the exactly same situation. Just that I spent with him 4 month of my pregnancy and then one day he left for Eid celebration for “three weeks.” However, don't lose your mind trying to figure out about him now, and thinking that he is with other girl because your baby need you more than everything. Do you know if he come from a big family? If he does will be so helpful to reach him easier.

    About my boyfriend, I do have contact with him, I know where is he, what he is doing, and all about him. My advantage over many woman is that I know a lot about his family and they are extremely known in KSA and in all the Middle East. He born in Riyadh. Why you asked about where is he from? I guess that doesn't make any different because most of them react in the same way, doesn't matter if they are sunni or shia, if they are poor or rich, if they are from Jeddah or Qassim.

    Do you convert to Islam? – I'm wondering because you used Inshallah in your post. You are right, they are “so religious” but not all of them truly from the heart. Once my boyfriend told me “Don't judge all the Saudis, or all the Muslim because of me, because not all are like i am.”

    I guess “what am i suppose to tell my son/daughter when he/she is born?” it's a question that all of us has… but in my case I'm convince that even he left me, and whatever he did, my children don't need to listen the bad things about his father. I promise myself that i will just tell him the good things, and when his father come back (sooner or later) he will be able to ask face to face why he didn't raise him.

    I guess both country has to do something with this issue because U.S. extend the number of visas for Saudi students (I guess it because the investment in the U.S. economy). On the other hand, KSA send every month more and more students. Maybe you wonder how i know all this, well i read very much about this, also i asked many people about it, and my boyfriend told me other things.

  24. andrea: yeah we have contact and everything and his family is well known in MECCA so im not worried about that … i know his familys phone numbers and what not so the day i go into labor they will know … my son will also have his name and his last name but im not even saving my breath that he will change when his son is born … hate to say it but saudis marry there own kind … well atleast the majority of them … i was just curious where he was from …. yeah i have alot of friends aswell in saudi arabia and they tell me everything about my babys dad and what hes doing i just dont know why the hell he got scared and ran off if i was there after everything but anyways its all good and okay …

  25. It appears that most of you in this situation are unmarried.Also,have the Saudis in your lives all finished their scholarships and returned to Saudi Arabia?

    In general the Saudi man is an expert at compartmentalizing his life, cherry picking from his religion and often times fatally flawed. There are still some decent Saudi men but unfortunately many that are not.

    I would suggest that all of you form a group using your own names and also the full names of the child's father stating the time the student was studying in the States, the University,etc.
    You could then prepare a covering letter and send this information to Khalid AlAngari who is the Minister of Higher Education.
    You could also send the same information to the various Saudi Educational Missions in the US.
    Exposure with accurate information is very important to build a strong case.
    I am an American who has been married to a Saudi for 37 years. I would hope I have some experience to assist you in this terrible situation.Susan Schuster Zaidan

  26. Susan most of the woman I have had dealings with to date there Saudis are still in the states studying. The large problem with that situation is that if the women choose to take these men for child support or KSA finds out about the child, these young men will loose there scholarship and be deported and that is a lose lose for everybody. Then faze two begins where the Saudi is gone in KSA forever.
    Now the problem with the women naming names is the fact that most of these men have threatened these women and there children (mine included). These Saudis find a way to keep most women quiet with promises or when that does not work the threats begin. That is why I am trying so hard to let these women know you cant be afraid of these cowardly men. We MUST stand up for our children's right to not be forgotten. If we don't take a stand now, in 20 years when these children are searching for there fathers they will find nothing but silence and pain.

  27. I think an article in the Arab News on this subject would be a good start. Roger Harrison who is a journalist & friend of mine would be more than willing to expose this problem.However,we will need something concrete.
    I do not know what these Saudi men could threaten as they are 'guests' in America.
    You cannot be afraid if you want to expose this and find resolution.
    There is also a human rights lawyer in Jeddah who would probably be interested to take this on.
    These Saudi men will disappear from your life without any responsibility to their child.
    I will do whatever I can to make this issue out in the open but as I said previously there has to be something substantial to make a case.

  28. Susan I would be most grateful for your help in any way. As for the concrete information, I am willing to share my info and those who wish it and I can also give documentation if it is needed. I agree with you that these women cant be afraid if they ever expect any resolution. I am willing to put myself out there in the hopes that others will follow.

  29. cnz77, your boyfriend already signed the papers of Acknowledge of Paternity? … Mine “suppose to do it” but until now i don't have any answer. OMG, Mecca the holly city, what he is doing for you and your child will be shame for his family. More if the authorities or Sheik's in there find out. I wish you the best with your baby.

    Susan, I appreciate if you can help us. Many of us have lost hope because we seek help and at the end we don't find any solution. I shared the opinion of saudi_children_left_behind because for the government of KSA is easier to keep their citizens safe and hide the abandoned children worldwide because this will cause a huge shame to the most “religious” country in the wold. Likewise, many (myself included) continue to believe in false promises and accepting what they say because the love we feel for them. I love my boyfriend more than myself, which I regret, and I think that has been the biggest problem in my personal case because I have been his carpet to walk on me whenever he wants just because everything I want is a father to my son. As saudi_children_left_behind I'm willing to share his information to get the right of my baby even if this would bring dishonor to one of the most important families after Al-Saud family.

  30. Abdullah

    Dear all,
    What happened for you by these heartless Saudi students is not acceptable by all Saudi citizens, her in my post you will find some information might be helpful:
    This website for Saudi organization for Saudi families living outside KSA.

    Human Right commission in KSA

    I will be back with more contact informations

  31. Abdullah,

    Personally i want to Thank you for share this information… I tried to contact the Awasser organization and they replied to me “You have to contact the Saudi Embassy in your country and they will transfer the information to us.” Also Saudi_children_left_behind and I tried to contact the Saudi Embassy but they don't help us at all…

    I wish soon we can get some help, and it's awesome that through this site more people is knowing about this situation and willing to come with contact and information that might help.

  32. Abdullah Thank you for sharing the information.
    Awasser is a an organization that is helping only those women who wish to become Saudi citizens and raise there children in KSA. This is a wonderful program that helps mostly women in Egypt and in the Philippines where these women and children live in poverty and need immediate help.

  33. Susan Schuster Zaidan & saudi_children_left_behind , i am willing to share my information as well and i am not one bit scared of the father of my child …. hes more than likely scared of me … i totally agree with u all and i think these men-boys need to be exposed …..i am more than willing to do whatever it takes…. so plz let me know what information is needed and all …. and ANDREA: yes i know its the holy city and after like a week ago for some reason he just disappeared on me which pisses me off but some of my family and friends are in mecca and are trying to find out wth is going on… uhh these men i swear they should stay in there country and stop making us gulable women fall in love with them and get pregnant so they can just leave llike cowards… actually im intrested in moving to saudi arabia and raising my son there but my family doesnt want me too … idk why =(…

  34. cnz77, Why you want to live in KSA? Do you speak Arabic? … Can I ask Where you from? … I asked if he is from big family because by the name and last name of my boyfriend father I got some information that might help me to let them know. However, I am still in to face them with the help through this group.

  35. cn277 Please feel free to pm me anytime. Do you really want to take your child to KSA? I don't mean to offend you at all but moving to KSA is a HUGE step. Please if you do go, just make sure you have all the facts and talk lots of non saudi women who live there to see how it really is. If he treated you badly here imagine how it can be in his own country. Then you are stuck, you cannot leave without his permission. KSA is not a bad place but that being said it is NOT a place for non saudi woman.

  36. andrea,saudi_children_left_behind: ive always wanted to try different things and yes a distant cousin of mine lives over there so im good and yes i do speak arabic but not fluently … i do know women who are from america that live over there but like i said its still up in the air that i live over there or not … this blog or group has given me alot of hope and faith that he will get his one day and all this will be over we need to take a step foward with all this and speak out …

  37. cn277. I wish all the best for you no matter where you decide to live 🙂 Your new little one will bring you so much happiness, so don't hang your head down. I will continue to work towards a solution, and push to get the word out.

  38. cn277, I wish you the best as well. Just remember that if you move to KSA and your child have the name and last name of his father you won't be able to take him out from the kingdom, because there the kids are propriety of the fathers…. Best luck for you and i wish you have a good pregnancy and a plenty life.

  39. First of all cn277 do you realize that you can't just move to Saudi Arabia unless you have a sponsor or are married?
    This problem needs exposure and solid information particularly in actual numbers of American women who have or had children out of wedlock with Saudis.
    Actually all your children are American not Saudi unless you are married to a Saudi and then they would have dual nationality which is recognized by the US government but not the Saudi government.
    I am curious what concrete steps have been taken on this issue.
    It is important to know you are not alone but unless you move this problem forward in a serious and documented matter I am afraid it will not go anywhere.

  40. Susan Schuster Zaidan : let me inform u that i will be working in saudi arabia in the hospital in jeddah …. i know all this information already really … as long as i have a job and get a letter written to embassy i will get my visa to be in saudi arabia

  41. Ok here it is ladies and gentleman, we have a real chance to make our voice heard. Susan is quite correct in the fact that we need documentation to be taken seriously. I ask all the women that I haven't already talked to by the telephone to please contact me. Over the next few weeks I can continue to compile the information that will get us taken seriously. 10 or 20 women wont be enough, Please I know some may be afraid to come forward rest assure I will do everything in my power to protect your privacy. Right now there are woman out there in our current situation that have no idea that I am trying to get them some help. If anyone knows of any women pregnant or had a child by a Saudi student here in the us PLEASE ask them to contact me. Anyone else willing to help and show support by helping us get noticed would be so helpful. Documentation that would be most helpful here will be any legal papers DNA test results, photos, letters and video. Sisters we have been blogging and asking for help for long, now its here if you want to be taken serious come forward and speak. Feel free to e mail me with any questions

  42. cn277 Are you going to have your baby in America or KSA? If your working at the hospital while pregnant remember to take a few min to get off your tired feet 🙂

  43. Hi everyone, I just want to share this link

    I posted on my blog and hopefully we can get more girls. Also I commented in Save the Women blog

  44. Dear cn277, I am sure you have acquired quite a bit of information about Saudi Arabia however, I am curious if you are planning to give birth there as a single woman.It will be extremely difficult if this is your plan even if you have a job in a hospital.

  45. Anonymous

    She can't have her baby in KSA it's against sharia law for a single women to have a baby in the Muslim country.

  46. @Anomyous Are you aware of any exceptions to that rule example… a woman is raped and becomes pregnant?

  47. Anonymous: u need to get ur facts straight hunny

  48. Dear cn277,Anoymous is not incorrect. You will have an extremely difficult time as a single woman to give birth in Saudi Arabia. You will need your sponsor to facilitate admission to any hospital.
    I know this as a fact. You may be able to find a way around this.
    However,perhaps you have 'wasta' which will remove most obstacles.

  49. Susan Schuster Zaidan , What happens to women who become pregnant for whatever reason? (I know it is a less scenario in KSA but I have heard that this thing happens) … Women will be forced to abort or give birth and then be punished? what about the babies born in these circumstances? They will go to an orphanage or the family will keep them?

    I'm just curious.

  50. Anonymous

    my facts are straight and please don't call me hunny it's offensive and belittling and I have helped numerous women leave the middle east because of it. You cannot give birth as a single mother in a Muslim country. If women are raped she must report it immediately and if she is pregnant many of them are deported or forced to have an abortion or worse case scenario the child is put in an orphange and the women in a shelter if she is shamed from her family. You really have no clue cn277. You are on the defensive because you are caught in a lie. I work with these women and know first hand the consequences and you all have to remember in the eyes of Islam sex before marriage is haraam or forbidden so an illegitimate child is a sin and viewed as such even in a rape case.

  51. Anonymous

    Further to that Andrea the child will never be harmed. If the women has to give birth she will give birth and then serve her punishment. Having sex in a Muslim country is forbidden unless you are married so if you are caught pregnant without reporting the crime of rape or something prove you got pregnant outside the country which you need at least 4 witnesses and proof than the mother will serve the Sharia law punishment after the baby is born so don't tell me to get my facts straight when I live in the middle east, I am Muslim, and I have helped and worked with over a dozen women who have been in this position. I know what I am talking about. Your uneducated response and your defensive position in these posts Cnn277 show your lack of understanding and knowledge about the Middle East

  52. Thanks for clarifying anonymous … I had doubts about how this process was for women in the Middle East. Well, I had read many articles but certainly the media are confusing the perception of the Middle East. So, at this point between the Internet, tv, and the press many people (including myself) doesn't even know what to believe.

    Do you think that a family will choose to keep this children even if they will not be legally recognized? or most of the family due the dishonor and shame will give this children to orphanges or abortion? (As I said before I'm just curious about how this works in the Middle East)

  53. Anonymous

    Depends on how this situation comes out to the family. If it is seen or known as a child of illegitimacy then there is no real way that a family will embrace the child with open arms. You face a mountain of uphill battles that may result in total abandonment from the family and father. In the eyes of Islam the child was born out of sin. Largely this is an individual situation though. If the family is aware of a 'girlfriend' or knows and accepts their son is dating which is so rare but it does happen then your chances may be ok in the ease of sharing this with the mother and father of your child's fathers parents. However, Islam will never recognize a child as legitimate no matter how you try to sugar coat it if the child was conceived before marriage. There are certain things that can be done legally to recognize the child but country to country the situations vary. Without a marriage certificate to legally bond you and your boyfriend together at this point there is nothing that can be done to legally recognize a father or legally give the child his father's name in the father's home country. I know of one family who does have custody of their orphan grandson. The father does have access to him and does recognize him legally as his son but he is raised by his grandparents. It's very difficult to stereotype and I don't like putting labels or generalizations on things because every situation is so different. The level of devotion to Islam varies family to family as well as tribal bonds which are sometimes harder to break than doing the right thing for the sake of Allah.

  54. who ever said i was gonna give birth in saudi arabia omg r u that pathetic to think i would do such a thing like that … and yes i am getting a job in saudi arabia at the hospital in jeddah and the saudi embassy said it was okay to take my child with me …. im not offending anyone i actually have alot of people including a cousin who lives in saudi arabia so i dont need facts from u sorry but the truth

  55. well i am preparing for my newborn son to arrive so if any of u all not including Anonymous u all can email me

  56. Anonymous

    I never said you were giving birth to your child in Saudi Arabia. I was responding to a comment made by SCLB asking if you were going to have your baby there. Your position on everything is so defensive and I truly wish you all the best and hope that everything will work out for you. Calling me pathetic makes you look small minded for not being able to understand where I was coming from.

  57. Aziz Al-Sager

    This has been going on for a long time. I am 34 years old and my Saudi father left when I was 2 months old. My mother was left to raise me with no help. I found my father 1 year ago and it has been worse than not knowing. Being Arabic and having a very Arabic name in America is an extreme burden and has been for many years. Also it hurts because you don’t feel like you fit in anywhere. Abandoned children of Saudi fathers hurt just as much as you ladies are if not more. Americans look at you funny because you are Arab and Arabs look at you funny or treat you badly because you are not Muslim or because your mom is a single mother so of course in their eyes she is a whore. Make sure your kids know it is not their fault because they will always feel something is wrong with them. I am 34 and I still feel like I don’t have a place in this world.

    • I am sorry it has taken me so long to reply to you, My computer recently died on me 😦

      I often wonder how my son would feel about his father when he gets older. How is he going to feel about himself? My father abandon my mother and I when I was 2yrs old and I spent my life feeling completely unwanted and now my son might have those same feelings… a mother it is so painful to know that I do not have the answers that he will most definitely ask..

      May I ask what excuse your father gave you as to why he had no contact with you during your life?

      Would you be willing to share your story on the blog? I think it would be wonderful to get your point of view and you might be able to help these that are going through the same thing right now. You can e mail me @ if you are interested.

  58. Sam

    It’s so sad to know about that, but these fathers should stand up for their children ASAP and give them the support they need. My heart is already broken to see these poor children without fathers. I would suggest to publish more pictures for these fathers so they respond immediately. Also you should approach the Arabian’s media! I’m sure this would help each one’s case.

  59. aziz ajmi

    I am so sad and disgusted from reading the stories posted in this blog. I feel ashamed of being a Saudi , even though I have nothing to do with all that wrongdoing. I strongly suggest posting pictures/videos so you can spread the word.
    Remember that everywhere you go, there will good people and others who are really bad.

  60. Dr.sat

    I am so embarrassed of these irresponsible guys. But please we have got to be fair. I know that being a single mother is a worldwide problem and more relevant in the western countries. However, I got kind of impression that Saudi students who have the ‘credit’ of this problem in USA!!

    I also would say that it is any relationship outside the marriage is forbidden in Islam as well as many other religions. More importantly, abortion is forbidden and sinful in Islam. Therefore, i ti unfair to lable these guys as ‘Muslim’ while they break the basic roles of Islam.

    I am only a student, but ready to donate as much as I can to support this group. I am proud to say that I have never had that impression of the western women and always empathy with women right not just in my country. So, I want to donate to show that these guys are not real muslims. Additionally, ready to give some advice to help you with the media issues.

    One more thing: try to increase the level of the awarness among other girls of the consequences of such relationship whether it is with American or not American.

  61. SRY

    Guys, i like the idea of this website…hopefully, some of these heartless men realized that what they did is a mistake and just owned up to what they have done !!!

    was there any case where someone did return to his child ?!

    i wish i could read a happy story some day !! you are all (kids and moms) in my prayers !!

    God Speed

  62. Razan

    I am really sorry about what I have read I can not believe those fathers who left their children behind and go back to Saudi Arabia without asking about them. The issue that those fathers will never ask about them and they will not because of the fuc*king traditions and religion who named the child who born without legal marriage after his mother name. The father can legally get out of it easily. I am really sorry for the things that u have faces and u will faces. Hope oneday you feel the soft warm of your fathers

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