This was a topic I recently addressed on social media. Lately there’s been a recurring trend from women and adult children I communicate with who are interested in coming forward with their stories but are afraid to because of a fraudulent misconception. This prevailing falsehood is just one out of many in a series of lies and deceptions used on the women by these Saudi students during the relationship to get what they wanted, so I feel the time has come to bring up some essential truth.
From those questionable “trips back to Saudi”, to lies about what his real name is, age, which country he’s ‘supposedly’ from, not to mention those fairy tales he spoon fed you about how he was going to put a ring on it, these fly by night Saudis have long since borrowed from the same playbook.
One major deception that has long been perpetuated I hear often from women who want to come forward, but may be hesitant in doing so, is this:
“I want to find my child’s father but I don’t want to cause trouble with him and his family” This is something I hear from women who are interested in getting the rights due to their child (and rightfully so) but are apprehensive because of their fear of offending these pieces of human garbage who left them in the most selfish way, alone and destitute with a baby. With that said, since when should his or his family’s feelings be taken into consideration? I have news for you, the trouble already started long before you got pregnant. These guys were excited to come to your country and it wasn’t because of school. Secondly, who do you think molded this loser in the first place? Make no mistake..if his family did find out about you they’d no sooner rally around him like soldiers and some lowlife uncle of his would be the first to call you a slut or a whore before hanging up. So whether its going to cause trouble isn’t the issue. They could care less if you attempt to expose them or not, otherwise he wouldn’t have been so comfortable leaving in the first place. The only trouble lies with the fact that he left you high and dry without any support. When it comes to how the families of these deadbeats think, the golden rule goes like this..their sons are king, their sh** doesn’t smell, and no woman with a baby is going to change that.
This way of thinking is also deeply ingrained in how the Saudi government has handled this very issue historically and as of late…(If you want proof of this, try calling a Saudi embassy and see how the condescending know-nothing on the other line responds). They don’t care about what the father did, you and your child’s welfare, or anything. It’s a secret club and you aren’t in it! Which all leads back to the famous myth….
“If anyone finds out you’re pregnant I’ll get in trouble” LOL. Did he bother to mention this the whole time he was wooing you during the relationship? This is an emotional microchip they implant into your heads to insure they’ll get out of the situation without accountability. This was no more apparent than when I was growing up and I would tell my mom I wanted to find my dad, in which she would reply in hysterics “YOU’RE GONNA GET HIM KILLED!!”. A reality check: He’s doing great. He’s living the life back in Saudi, comfortably reveling in the false image he’s cultivated for society. He’s enjoying nice expensive vacations and the finest of leisure money can buy, and while you and your child starve he’s getting fatter by the minute from all the Al-Baik and greasy lamb he’s devouring. Not to mention (at times) the many women he’s dining and having affairs with while he’s away from his wife and kids.
In short, you’re doing your child no favors by keeping quiet about these guys transgressions. Being nice and considerate about their feelings isn’t going to help you to afford diapers or formula for your newborn, or pay for the numerous doctor’s bills if your child is faced with lifelong health issues; or the never ceasing worry how this might be the month you and your kid end up on the streets. Remember, these guys operate in a singular way. They had a plan when they went abroad to target you for their enjoyment, and they have a plan to cover up their deeds if they’re allowed to.