Author Archives: Saudi Children Left Behind

My Latest E-Mail to the Saudi Embassy UPDATED!!!

Well surprise surprise Dr. Mody Alkhalaf or anyone from citizens affairs has not replied to my e-mails or calls. It seems like once they recognize the e mail or person calling they ignore you!! My son is almost 3 years old and the man who fathered him seems to keep flying under your ever so vigilant radar. This specific student has exceeded his scholarship multiple times due to poor grades often times he has been in so much academic trouble you suspended his allowance.Why are you protecting this man? Who can answer my questions?????

    It has been over a week since anyone in the embassy has returned any of my numerous e mails or calls. Below is the last correspondence between us.

Dear Jennifer

I did transfer your request to the embassy and you may follow up with citizen’s affairs.

I would like to note that when we talked, however, you were very keen on the father not having any paternity rights, in fact you mentioned that your husband has “adopted” your child as his son and you do not want to change that.
Also, you never mentioned anything regarding child support. In fact, you said I just want to make sure who to contact when my son grows up and wants to meet his father.

Having said all that, and if you have changed your mind regarding what you are requesting from the father, then I will gladly note it to embassy as well.

Sincerely,

Dr. Mody Alkhalaf
Director of Cultural and Social Affairs
Cultural Mission of the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia
8500 Hilltop Road
Fairfax, VA 22031
Phone: 571-327-2555
Fax: 571-327-2761

    Where I quickly replied.

Dr. Mody Alkhalaf
Thank you for your response. I certainly appreciate it, and will do my best to clarify. My concerns were mostly of a financial nature, as Sultan has repeatedly tried to avoid doing anything to help in that area. My husband has indeed adopted our son, and we have no other needs of Sultan, other than to ensure family medical histories are available to us. I didn’t bring it up before because I was under the impression that Sultan would be gone in another month’s time. This is five months later and he is still here ( having broken into my home at one point in time, might I add ). Nothing else has changed, although I would like some clarification on citizen’s affairs. All I could obtain there was a list of phone numbers. What is the next step, and is there anyone specifically that I should speak to? I appreciate the time and effort. Thank you.
Jenniffer

My latest e-mail to the Saudi Embassy in Washington, DC.
In the past I have been in contact with Dr. Mody Alkhalaf Director of Cultural and Social Affairs.To date nothing had been done to resolve this situation.

To whom it may concern,

My name is Jenniffer I called you six months ago regarding the situation involving myself, my son, and his biological father, Sultan Abdullah Asiri, who is currently a computer science major at the University of Findlay. At the time of my call, you told me someone would help me to a resolution within 1 month, and that it was simply too expensive to send him home just short of his degree. It has been an additional 5 months, and not only is he still here, living a mere 5 minutes away from me, but he has offered absolutely no financial support whatsoever. I have started a group, called Saudi Children Left Behind, as a type of support system for women in my position, and have found that there are numerous women in the exact same predicament as myself. We are attracting new members every day, and have even been contacted by media outlets for interviews. My concerns remain the same as when I first contacted you. What will I tell my son, who will be three in May, about his biological father? Why are so many men on international scholarship allowed to skirt their responsibilities when they father a child? My son’s DNA would without a doubt answer any doubts anyone would have about his heritage, but I would still like to hear from you before speaking to the media. I await your response.

Sincerely,
Jenniffer

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How do you feel?

Ok, everyone. I have a question or two for those who would care to respond, as i am looking for a little input on the subject. What part of being left alone to raise your child ( assuming that you were not given other options ) makes you the most upset? The financial aspects? The worrying about your child’s future without a father? Or the biological implications, i.e. allergies, known familial diseases, etc.? Have people told you that you would be better off not searching for or seeking out assistance from the father at all? Does that make you angry? I ask because, of all the thoughts that cross my mind, in my situation what bothers me most is the fact that my son will simply never be acknowledged by his biological father, and I am sure sooner or later he will have questions that I’m not sure I can answer.

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Chasing Jannah: My Baby Boy


This blog comes from a Canadian/Muslim woman who also has a child with a Saudi man who chooses not to have contact with her or her son.
I would like to thank you for for speaking out and sharing your story.

http://chasing-jannah.blogspot.com/2012/03/my-baby-boy.html

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Awasser, Back to the Roots Foundation

What is Awasser Back to the Roots Foundation? Can they help me?

Were you married and have children with a Saudi man and live in a poor country? Do you want to become a citizen of Saudi Arabia with your children?

Here are a few articles from the Arab news about the foundation and who they help.


Awasser extends all support to Saudi families abroad
RIYADH: Chairman of the Saudi Charitable Society for the Welfare of Saudi Families Abroad Tawfiq Abdul Aziz Al-Suwailem highlights the role of his organization in helping children born of Saudi fathers in foreign countries. “We provide for all their needs, such as a monthly assistance, winter clothing allowance, school assistance, housing and airplane tickets for those who want to return home,” he says in an exclusive interview with Abdul Hannan Tago in Riyadh.

Tawfiq Abdul Aziz Al-Suwailem, chairman of the Saudi Charitable Society for the Welfare of Saudi Families Abroad (Awasser), has said that his organization provides all procedural and legal assistance free of charge to the abandoned Saudi families living abroad.

In an exclusive interview with Arab News, Al-Suwailem, who is also economic consultant of Gulf Bureau for Research and Economic Consultation, said the assistance is available to Saudi families whose children are from a Saudi father who married a foreign woman but could not look after them for various reasons.

According to Al-Suwailem, Awasser provides this assistance through the Saudi Foreign Affairs Ministry under the supervision of Crown Prince Naif, deputy premier and interior minister, in line with Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah’s directive to extend support to his people wherever they may be and help them come back to the country.

The organization also grants financial support, winter allowance and school assistance to these children living abroad and includes them in King Abdullah’s scholarship program.

Awasser, the first and only Saudi charitable organization authorized for these services, has now compiled full data of those children in 26 countries, including the United States, Canada, the Philippines, India, Indonesia and large numbers of them in Syria, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon.

According to Awasser, these numbers are increasing rapidly because of the modern technology, the use of social network communication and the quick processing of their papers.

The program managed to reach out to 900 families by the end of 2011, consisting of 2,387 persons living in 26 countries around the world. So far, Awasser has spent SR11 million on them.

Following is the text of the interview:

Your organization is the first of its kind in Saudi Arabia, specializing in the welfare of abandoned Saudi families. Can you tell us more about it?

The Charitable Organization for the Welfare of Saudi Families Abroad or Awasser is licensed and supervised by the Ministry of Interior. Awasser works solely and specifically for Saudi families living abroad and traces Saudi citizens all over the world. They are now under our care, and we are trying our best to provide assistance to the children of our country that, due to certain circumstances, were forced to stay outside the Kingdom. They need our assistance, welfare and supervision.

We provide for all their needs, such as a monthly assistance, winter clothing allowance, school assistance, housing, and airplane tickets for those who want to return home. We also provide them legal assistance to issue their Saudi identity cards and renew their passports.

Awasser also helps to include them in King Abdullah’s scholarship programs, and sometimes we recommend them to work for Saudi companies and our embassies in these countries.

When did you establish Awasser?

It was established in 2001 under a royal decree. The board of directors, which is elected every three years, consists of businessmen and retired personalities who are working voluntarily without official payment. They are merely rendering services to our country, because our country has provided us everything from our childhood. So this is considered as social responsibility. Allah always blesses those who work for humanitarian services.

Our objective is to find out the broken or abandoned families abroad and provide them a hand of assistance and all kinds of welfare.

Awasser aims to provide all necessary requirements for their return to the country and coordinates with the government, private institutions and NGOs working for charity to provide all their needs. We also carry out the relevant research and studies, especially on getting married outside and the negative effects of these imbalanced relations. We help them in all legalization procedures, including issuance of their Saudi identity cards and follow up with them.

How do you recognize these children? What are the procedures you follow to find them?

We find them through a number of procedures via our embassies. We do teamwork with our embassies and visit these families in their respective places. We ask about their parents, their papers and their financial status. We go to these embassies and tell them that we have this person who needs assistance from us.

We also trace them through our website, which is visited by hundreds of them. We exchange information with them and answer all their inquiries online, we provide them all necessary information they need and finish their papers on the same day. We also have awareness campaigns to introduce our activities to the people. We make sure that our assistance reaches all deserving family equally, without discrimination. We provide assistance without bias and based on their needs, whether they are a family or individual.

How many families have so far benefited from Awasser services and in which countries?

At present, we have 29 countries in which 3,100 people have benefited from our services. Our priorities are Gulf countries, Arab states, the US and Canada, Asian countries and Africa. Awasser spent SR11 million in 2011 and around SR4 million since the beginning of this year. We are targeting to spend a total of SR10 million for assistance this year as per the directives of King Abdullah and instructions of the crown prince. King Abdullah sometimes gives an extra amount for the same purposes.

The largest numbers of beneficiaries are now in Syria, where 280 families live, followed by Egypt, where we have 218 families consisting of 496 members, Kuwait (123/455), Bahrain (104/455), Jordan (70/234) and Lebanon (19/56).

Among the non-Arab countries, the Philippines has the highest number of Saudi families (16 families comprising 26 members). Second is the US (9/27), and third India.

How about the families in non-Arab countries that became completely attached to their mother culture? What do you do with those in the Philippines, for instance?

We conducted many visits to the Philippines and our embassy in Manila for this. We keep in touch with them. In a personal capacity, my brother goes there frequently and does a lot of humanitarian services.

What would happen to these children if their brothers in Saudi Arabia denied them their rights?

There are some Saudis who marry outside Saudi Arabia without the knowledge of their family. Then, when their children from abroad emerge, their brothers in Saudi Arabia refuse to accept them. That’s where the dispute begins.

It is a mistake to keep this secret, because in case of death these children abroad may not take their share if their Saudi brothers do not recognize them. This is, of course, not allowed in our Shariah, as all biological children should get their share equally from the left properties. They may also not get citizenship. Awasser acts as middlemen in these cases and goes to the concerned authority to help resolving these problems.

How about the children living in the Kingdom with their parents who could not get citizenship?

We are only working for families living outside Saudi Arabia.

Our jurisdiction and the scope of our services is outside the country. The people we assist don’t need attorneys; they come to us or contact us through our website and follow the given guidelines. We provide legal assistance to get their identification cards, we support them financially and make them from consumers to productive citizens.

How about those who are not bearing Saudi passports? Are they included in your services?

We serve them and do what is needed for them. We have contacts at the Foreign Affairs and Interior ministries, who can help them to legalize their status. People don’t do this procedure themselves; we do it for them. We are the official entity that does all requirements without any charge.

How can anybody approach Awasser for help?

They can contact us directly on our website: http://www.awasser.org.sa. We communicate with 92 Saudi embassies across the world to find out about any abandoned Saudi families in these countries. We did awareness campaigns on the negative effects of getting married outside the Kingdom.

The research we conducted revealed some financial and social problems including big financial needs the wives sometimes require, like accommodation, car, travel expenses, tickets and gifts for them and their relatives.

With regard to the social negative effects, many communities who allow their daughters to marry foreigners are from poor communities and uneducated. This creates differences in education and culture. The children who are living outside have different values, traditions and cultural background. Daughters are more affected by this phenomenon, as they do not know what their culture is and where they belong. Their children do not know whose culture they should follow — the father’s or the mother’s.

Sociologists and rights activists have warned young Saudi men of the negative social and economic consequences of their marriages to foreign women. They also warned that the practice increases the number of unmarried women in the Kingdom.

To avoid problems, those who seek foreign wives are advised to first obtain official permission. Some Saudis travel to foreign countries with the intention of entering into temporary marriages. At the end of their vacation, they divorce their wives.

This practice shows their disrespect for family values. They do this for temporary personal enjoyment, but they don’t think about its negative consequences. It will definitely affect their family life.
By ABDUL HANNAN TAGO


Search widens for kids abandoned by Saudi fathers overseas
By Joe Avancena
DAMMAM – The search for children born to foreign women and Saudi fathers overseas will be extended to all corners of the world to let these children know that although they have been abandoned by their Saudi fathers, Saudi Arabia is their country and they have not been forgotten, said Najeed A. R. Al-Zamil, founder of the Back to the Roots Foundation, a non-government organization that seeks out and supports such children.

“The Back to the Roots program of the foundation will soon launch a global search for these children to identify them, investigate their status and condition, and find ways to help and care for them if need be,” Al-Zamil said.

Al-Zamil established the Back to the Roots Foundation five years ago with a search for the children of Saudi fathers in the Philippines. In that country the foundation uncovered 60 sons and daughters of Saudi fathers who possess documents to prove their Saudi parentage.

“We know that there are at least 100 more of these children in the Philippines fathered by Saudis but without documentation to establish that they are the sons and daughters of Saudis. Nevertheless, the foundation will reach out to them,” he said.

According to Al-Zamil, the sons and daughters of Saudis in the Philippines have organized themselves, seeking, among other goals, the recognition and legitimization of their status as Saudis. The Back to the Roots program in the Philippines is headed by Shareefa Albinali who now works as administrative assistant at the Saudi Royal Embassy in Manila.

Al-Zamil said the global search for Saudi children is now supported by Prince Naif Bin Abdul Aziz, Second Deputy Premier and Minister of Interior. “Prince Naif has given his full support to the foundation and we will soon meet and finalize the global search program,” Al-Zamil said.

According to Al-Zamil, news about the pioneering work of the foundation is spreading around the world.

“I have received letters and inquiries about our foundation from interested individuals from places such as Moscow, Siberia and Iceland. Many of our male population have indeed successfully spread their parenthood in far-flung continents of the world,” Al-Zamil pointed out.

According to Al-Zamil, the largest concentration of children of Saudi fathers born to foreign women overseas is in Egypt where there are over 400,000 of them. “In Syria there are over 100,000 children who are the sons and daughters of Saudis.

There are also such children in countries like Morocco, Tunisia, India, Pakistan, Indonesia, Thailand, and in Western countries including the United States,” Al-Zamil said. – SG __


We met Mr. Abdullah Al Homod the CEO of a Saudi organization called Awasser to learn more about what the organization does and how they operate on a global scale.
To understand Awasser’s work, let’s assume that a Saudi citizen traveled abroad for business, pleasure, or even study, and that he found himself in a situation where he had to get married. Now let’s imagine that this person left that country to return to Saudi Arabia, leaving behind a spouse, who might be pregnant without knowing it at the time of the separation. This is where Awasser comes in and tries to find those Saudi abandoned children who are stranded away from their fathers and country. Since they are Saudis, Awasser takes on the task to educate them, help them, and provide means to return them home and reconnect Saudi citizens abroad to their family ties in Saudi Arabia. This simply makes Awasser a very unique organization.
Financial Support:
Once Awasser finds and confirms the existence of a Saudi child abroad, they investigate the case, to make sure that the child is the son or daughter of a Saudi citizen. After that, Awasser contacts the father in Saudi Arabia, notifying him about the situation. While this process takes place, the organization transfers a monthly financial allowance to cover all the essential needs of that child until the situation is resolved. “As a Saudi, this child deserves our support till we get him or her back home,” affirms Mr. Abdullah Al Homod.
Moral & Social Support:
In some situations, the child or family might not need any financial support. However what might be most needed is moral and sentimental support, or perhaps just to know that their country cares about them; this is another area Awasser aims to cover, by creating an uninterrupted connection with needy Saudi families while abroad. When the family returns home, Awasser maintains a connection to ensure that the new family is comfortable and settling well in their new surrounding. “We even have classes and camps to prepare them to fit right into the Saudi society, and learn how to blend in to become part of it,” adds Mr. Abdullah Al Homod.
Health Support:
The support Awasser provides is extended to providing any type of health or medical aid to any Saudi child or his/ her mother while away from home. “The fact that they are away from Saudi Arabia doesn’t mean they can’t get good medical attention. We’ll make sure they get the best treatment available wherever they are,” promises Mr. Al Homod.
Educational Support:
Not only does Awasser help in selecting the best educational institute available in the locality and pay for it, but they also help registering Saudi children in schools and colleges once they are back in Saudi Arabia.
Housing & Relocating:
Once the child and his family return to his or her country, the organization helps them find a home within an area they can adjust to, and settle well in. Awasser even covers the rent for the Saudi family until they manage to reach the level of financial stability which enables them to provide for themselves.
Awasser is currently developing a new website which they hope will help people find their relatives. They are also developing an online form that will speed up the process to reconnect all the Saudi threads together again.

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SCLB Interview with Isabella, 23 year old Mother of twins

Isabella's Interview
Interview With Isabella

Would you please state your age, race & religion.

I am 23 years old, hispanic/latina and christian.

Where/how did you met your Saudi. How long did the relationship last?

I met my Saudi through a friend that introduce us both it was his roomate at their house, we were together for 7 months.

What was your Saudi’s reaction to the pregnancy?

He was scared and the only words that came out of him was ‘HOW COME”. After that he said you must have an abortion because he was not ready to be a father, this will be a cursed to his life and, he wont be able to live in peace because he will be thinking about it constantly so lets get rid of this.!

Were your family members accepting of the relationship? How do they currently view the situation?

My family knew and accept it because they though he was well educated nice and a gentleman. Now they know they were wrong and he lie to us and disrespect and make fun of our family, home and honor.

Describe your current situation.(your life, your child’s life, current situation with Saudi, etc.)

My life is amazing now, I think and i am sure that I am blessed even though I committed a sin by being with my saudi but, I had two amazing fraternal twins and they are perfect and healthy. They are my joy and pride, I was able to have them for 9 months and I think that’s very hard to do when you have twins. My current situation with my Saudi guys is very clear he wanted an abortion, and since I didn’t do it he fled and went back to Saudi Arabia and states to anyone that ask him this are not my children, and he wants to be left alone and in peace.

Will the father be involved in any way in raising your child?

No, he doesnt want to be part of anything. He doesnt care about the kids and he tried to pay me 15, 000 dollars for the kids if he was left alone.

How are you dealing with the lack of support? (financial, emotional)

When I was pregnant, it was very hard for me go throw it alone and knowing that the father of my kids, couldn’t realizes what a blessing he had. Financially thanks to many programs in my town I was able to get the help I need but, it was not enough, especially when I have twins.

What are your hopes for the future?

I hope to finish my degree and be able to provide my children with the best that I can,and show them the other side of the culture they belong to. Also being able to raise intelligent, educated, children that love God,show them many things I was not able to complete.

What advice would you give to another woman in your current situation?

I know it is hard and I know you are very confused right now and don’t know what to do, who to belive and, trust but your not alone and, your not the only one in this situation and there is always hope. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger!.

Is there anything that you would you like to say to your Saudi?

Yes, the only thing I will tell him is Fear Allah!.

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The Effects of Paternal Abandonment on a Child


Any type of parental abandonment may have detrimental affects on a child, regardless of his or her age. According to an article written by Tess Forrest, Ph.D., for Contemporary Psychoanalysis, the role of fathers is important to both male and female children, but most especially females, according to Freud’s psychosexual theory. However, according to an article published in the Journal of Family Psychology, the importance of the role of the father’s parenting in regard to male children and their expression of emotion and feelings cannot be ignored.

Feelings of Betrayal

Children old enough to understand that a father has left often blame themselves for that abandonment. They often feel they did something wrong to make their father leave or not love them. They may feel betrayed by that person, and seriously mistrust relationships in the future, believing that any relationship will inevitably fail and the other person will turn their back on them.

Feelings of Unworthiness

A child who has been abandoned may feel unworthy of being liked, or even loved, by another individual. Such feelings of unworthiness may lead to chronic depression and feelings of suicide to escape the loneliness or sense of separation she may feel toward others who enjoy healthy relationships with their fathers.

Loss of Role Model

Fathers are infallible heroes in the eyes of many toddlers and young children, and often offer children someone to look up to, to emulate and admire. Fathers often play the role of disciplinarian in a family unit, setting boundaries that most children stick to. Lack of a father figure in a young boy or girl’s life may also affect social development, says Thom Crabbe of the Children’s Workforce Development Council in Great Britain.

Feelings of Shame

Shame about the incident of abandonment transfers to the child’s self-appraisal of worth. Claudia Black, M.S.W., Ph.D., author and family service provider for the Las Vegas Recovery Center, report that abandonment of children at a time when they are “developing their sense of worth, is the foundation for the belief in their own inadequacy and the central cause of their shame.” These feelings of shame and inadequacy “become a driving force in their adult lives,” according to Black.

Problems With Intimacy

When a child trusts a caretaker to provide security and support and then suffers harm, perhaps minor injuries, this impacts the child’s future ability to trust and later may translate to difficulties with intimacy. Children experiencing abandonment and neglect may develop problems with peer relationships, according to a study done at the University of Nebraska at Lincoln by researchers Constance L. Chapple, Ph.D., Kimberly A. Tyler, Ph.D. and Bianca E. Bersani, M.A. and reported in 2005 in University of Nebraska-Lincoln Sociology Department, Faculty Publications in 2005.

Dealing with Loss

Abandonment by a father figure in a person’s life may have devastating effects, as related by a case study of Robert Hawkins, the young man who engaged in a shooting spree in Omaha, Nebraska, that left nine people dead, including himself. According to J. Ray Rice, M.S.W., A.C.S.W., abandonment issues may express themselves as loss of self-respect or the ability of a child to feel loved or worthy of love.

How to Help

If a child is abandoned, the earlier he receives intervention, the better. Encourage him to discuss his feelings and reassure him if he fears being abandoned again. Be sure that he fosters nurturing relationships with other loved ones and family members. If you are concerned about his behavior or emotional state, take him to see a doctor.

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Interview With Jennifer Of Saudi Children Left Behind

My interview with Future Husbands and Wives of Saudi Arabia. Tara Umm Omar writes for one of the most helpful blogs on the subject. Want to marry a Saudi ? Check out her blog, and get informed.

Interview With Jennifer Of Saudi Children Left Behind.

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Fear, Loathing, and Saudis in America

Fear,Loathing

People fear a lot of different things. Some things I understand, and some I don’t. I can see where someone might be afraid of spiders, or of being in a large crowd of people, or even one of my personal phobias, flying. But until recently, I had never feared being alone. Then my life changed forever.

I got involved with a Saudi man a few years ago. The relationship developed, and before long, I was pregnant. Not that it was something I had planned for, but I knew immediately that I wanted to keep the child. When he found out, he suddenly distanced himself. I found that he no longer wished to be seen with me, and that he only stopped by late at night to speak to me on the odd occasion. Before long, he had completely extracted himself from my life, leaving me with no one to speak to, no one to quell my sudden fears about the future, no one to hear my desperate frustration. Alone.

My family wasn’t exactly supportive of the relationship when it was going well, and the turn for the worse only seemed to give them justification to use words like “comeuppance” and “just desserts”….hurtful by any stretch, but especially from the people that are supposed to be your lifeline in times of need. So instead of speaking to anyone, I sat. Alone in my office. Away from my children. Away from friends who wouldn’t understand. Away from strangers who would point and judge. Isolated. And that is when I truly learned to fear being alone.

Days went by as I listened to voices in my head that had come to replace the voices of others. Voices that yelled at me, insulted me, berated me for being so gullible. So naive. So easy to take advantage of. Voices that would never forgive me for bringing a completely innocent child into a world where his father wanted nothing more than to be thousands of miles away from him. Night after night these strangers in my head would tear me down, sapping my energy, my will, and making it so hard to wake up in the morning that sometimes I wished the dawn would simply never come.

I don’t know exactly what it was that gave me direction again. Perhaps my anger for the man who had abandoned me and my child. My desire to push forward and put this part of my life into a dark corner, never to be revisited. My need to take care of my kids. Or maybe something else. But whatever it was, it was enough to push me to get answers. Information. Because there was no way in hell my child should suffer just because a sperm donor with piss poor judgement decided to miss out on the life of a wonderful child. No way.

The next few weeks went by fairly quickly. There were calls made to the local college, the embassy, doctors, and any friends who were still around to listen. My fear of being alone had been replaced by a fear of what could happen to my child if he didn’t have financial support, or family medical records available. And so I made calls. And I searched. And emailed. And called some more. The internet became my one stop source for any kind of help I could get my hands on. And then….a funny thing happened. I found a blog written by a woman with strikingly similar circumstances to my own. And then I found another. And another. And suddenly, all the fear I felt was replaced with something quite different. Anger. Anger at what was apparently closer to an epidemic than an isolated problem. So I let the anger fuel me, and I redoubled my efforts.

My son is 2 years old now. He has a smile that could light up a room, and is smarter than I could have ever imagined. I don’t have as much anger left for that Saudi man any more, simply because I feel pity for him whenever I watch my little boy run and play. He is a joy to behold, and anyone who would deprive themselves of that simply does not know what they are missing. Moreover, I don’t fear being alone anymore, because during all my research, I was able to communicate with several other women who were in the same situation I was.  As silly as it sounds, even though we were miles, sometimes even oceans apart, we shared a common bond. And we had all persevered through it and come out stronger. I am sharing this with you because I know what the fear of being alone can do to someone in that situation. It can cripple you. It can paralyze you. And it can make your life a living hell from the moment you wake up until the moment when your last ounce of strength has been used up, and you expire at night. I am here to say that if you are reading this, you have no reason to feel that way. Ever. You are not alone. There are many of us, and we are all willing to help, to have our voices heard, and to say to whoever will listen that we are many, we are united, and we will never live in fear again.

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What is Saudi children left behind?

I created Saudi Children Left Behind in hopes of uniting women in need who have children with Saudi men who have chosen not to be involved with their children This is a growing problem that needs addressing. If you, or someone you know is in this current dilemma , know you are not alone.

Would you like to tell your story? Contact me at; saudi_children_left_behind@hotmail.com

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Am I alone?

I found myself wrestling the idea in my mind whether or not to create some sort of blog to explain my story, I struggled with the idea that I would probably be criticized in doing so. In the end, I chose to face that fear in hopes that in doing so it will let other women know that they aren’t alone in their daily battle with these so called ‘Muslim” men. My story begins 6 years ago while I was working for a local cell phone store. While there, I happened to meet a group of collage students from Saudi Arabia, we immediately became friends and, I immersed my self in their culture and even converting to Islam. My family was concerned with this but, I assured them I knew what I was doing. During this time I met a man named Sultan and he and I became almost inseparable. I found I had so much in common with this beautiful man from the other side of the world. We would spend hours talking about our lives and the possibility of our lives together in the future. His family knew of me, and his intention to marry me or so I thought. Three years into our relationship I get pregnant, and from that moment on our lives would never be the same. When I told the father about the pregnancy he changed so much saying that I became pregnant on purpose and that I have to have an abortion if I wanted to keep him. I refused to have an abortion during any circumstance and even the thought of killing my child to keep a man that had completely just done a Jekyll and Hyde routine on me was absurd to say the least. During my pregnancy, we would speak often where I tried to get him interested in the baby, having him throw it back in my face saying he never wanted “it”. Threatening that he has family that if they knew would come here to America and kill me and the baby if I ever told anyone. This is the same man that only mounts ago was telling me how much he loved me and showered me with gifts that I didn’t even know I wanted. This poor Saudi man now no longer has a single penny to give to his child, strange right? In my own personal life my biological father abandoned my mother and I, and to this day I carry that pain around like an anvil on my chest, so I am somewhat bias to the situation and I didn’t want my son to carry that same pain about his real father. However I know now that my son will not have to carry such a heavy weight for he has been blessed with a wonderful Step Father, who loves him as his own flesh and blood. How great is that!! My husband now faces the problem with me do we ever tell him about his real father or don’t we? These are the same questions that any woman with children who happen to have a deadbeat dad ask, the difference lies with the Saudi Students and what they can do to us women if they so chose to. These Students sign a contract when they leave there kingdom to study abroad that states several crazy rules they must abide by. Men impregnating a woman they aren’t married to is a large violation and they not only can but will lose their scholarship and be deported if the information gets back to the embassy in Riyadh . That is the first hurdle us women face, your pregnant you can tell no one or there will be repercussions. An example of this is after I had my child the fathers best friend’s girlfriend got pregnant too, I happen to be in the room when they discussed getting a root from Saudi that would make the girl in question abort her babies at 4 months along. Luckily I was there and I told them that if anything happened at all to this woman I would go to the police. The woman mentioned was never physically harmed although physiologically she is going through the same torture as many of us. Now that the pregnancy hurdle has been passed and you have this wonderful child …now what? Well if the father’s name is on the birth certificate you must be aware that if you travel with your child to Saudi Arabia you might not ever get your child back. Men have say there not like here. Remember it is a completely different culture that most western women scratch their heads at. My intention is not to daddy bash although my anger and pain is completely warranted. I have recently started an organization called Saudi Children Left Behind (SCLB) where I hope to lend support and eventually some financial support to those women in similar situations. In doing this I also hope to unite as many women as possible. I will make my son proud in knowing that his Mother never gave up the fight for his right to have a voice to his biological father. As it stands when these guys go home they are gone to us and our children forever, who keeps tabs on these men? The answer Ladies and gentleman is not a single person. The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia punishes these guys for the act of sex and then these men turn around and hurt us leaving us holing a baby and our hearts wondering what happened. Then I have found when you speak out to the injustice you are criticized and ridiculed, called names like whore. First off Arab men get this through your heads we aren’t whores!!! Guess what buddy your in my country where women are allowed to have sex without being stoned to death. Secondly if you tell a woman you love her and want to marry her the strangest thing happens ….she believes you. Third and this might come as a shock I know but it takes two to get pregnant and no we didn’t get pregnant on purpose just so we could keep your cousin marring butt!!!! If your going to study here guy learn the culture!!!!! That being said ladies you must protect yourself too. I know like me you are angry and frustrated and probably confused and no one is offering support. Well ladies this is the best country in the world(in my opinion) and there is nothing that can stop us here. That being said I do need your help!!!! I need to gather as much support as possible so KSA will take notice and work towards a solution. I understand any fears you might have in coming forward, when I created the SCLB Group the father of my child broke into my house hacked my computer and to this day get daily prank calls from him and his friends, childish huh!! We must be tenacious in our dealings with these men. Our children deserve not to be forgotten, and abandoned like they were just there wild fling in America. We must fight to hold these men accountable for their actions and show our children that we will never let them down. Will anyone stand with me?


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